TO BURY OR BURN

Amy Fleury

In the mild cologne of the funeral home
the mortician steps out to let us discuss
the question. Catalogues of caskets
arrayed on the polished oak desk, displays
of “Thumbies” printed with the whorls
of the departed, cremation jewelry, 
tiered shelves of marble vases, boxes
lacquered and biodegradable at every
price point. What to do with the body
of our toddler who never toddled,
our beloved child, whose eyes galaxyed
with joy? I remember the Bronze Age
mother discovered clutching her infant,
their skeletons aligned with the rising sun.
The grave goods were notched pottery
and the canine teeth of fifty animals.
Grief-fogged, I decide this is what I want.
The barrow could be prepared by equinox
when I might lie down with my boy
and together be heaped over with earth. 
Millenia hence a scavenger might find us,
spading up a plastic amulet in the shape
of an apple attached to some threads,
thought to be used in rites of worship.
No, no, I’m no Demeter, can’t follow
my baby down, can’t leave his father,
who sits, just as stricken, beside me,
gripping my hand. This is our crucible.
May we be purified and not consumed.
No, that frail body must be sent to flame
to rise as smoke, tempered and transmuted.
His precious toe bones and eyelashes,
those two-year molars, and the little suit
Maria stayed up all night to sew, all cinder.  
I hate the thought of it, which is to say,
always I will think of it. We will sleep
within reach of the teddy bear-etched urn
on the nightstand. During storm or travel,
the small silver vessel will stay in our keeping,
go where we go, until one day, I wish,
all our dust can be sifted together, then cast
to the elements eternal. Yes, we’ll tell that
to the undertaker, when he comes back in. 

Amy Fleury is the author of two collections of poems, Beautiful Trouble and Sympathetic Magic, both from the Crab Orchard Poetry Series of Southern Illinois University Press. Recent poems from her manuscript-in-progress, Stardust & Luck, have appeared in 32 Poems, Image, Crazyhorse, Los Angeles Review, Southern Indiana Review, and others. She has held fellowships from the Amy Clampitt Trust and the MacDowell Colony. She lives in the Chippewa Valley of Wisconsin and teaches at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire.