self-portrait as white spaces

Ugochukwu Okpara

&         amnesia fails me yet again     & memory       rocks me         like a toddler   in its arms     

with nails dug deep     into my skin                           everything i hold unto   

                       ruins me          my feet            have grown weary      whacked          from

           running                        joy crumbles   like paper       each time i mold it   to call it         

a minaret        here      like a child    solitude sits on my shoulders               &

recites litanies of broken men        who left home to mend

i will come home        & i will loan you         my sinews                   then                 i will leave

           to know how far         i’ve eclipsed exile                   but       i won’t leave you empty       
 
i will leave you           with the last memory of me       as braille  & you as hands reading     

it         

both darkness              & light            are channeled             into      our bodies like          
 
intravenous infusions             but       there is no light           here any longer               
       
we’ve used mine         to reawaken  yours               & now you spend your time              

in search of     a speck            of reflection    in me   but we bring ruins       like

            souvenirs to ourselves            until every minute of us          inherits them   & still

            we perform autopsies  in wrong bodies